Boys Don't Cry

To continue my month of LGBTQIA+ movies, I decided to watch a movie relating to transgendered individuals. Boys Don't Cry was a movie based off of a true story of a transgender man trying to live the live he'd always wanted and the struggles he faced when dealing with people who didn't understand or feared how his life might change theirs. I remember Hillary Swank getting major critic notice for this role, but also got a lot of backlash for taking this role. I guess people had a problem with a woman playing the role, but I feel like it showed what a man with more feminine features would have to go through during that transition better than hiring a naturally born male for the role. I don't know much about the plot other than he moves to a small, country town and tries to live his life in his transitioned persona. But, country folk are even more unforgiving of people that are different and don't fit societal norms than living in a city where diversity is more mainstream. I know his previous identity is outed somehow and certain people don't take too kindly to his change, but I don't know how far it goes into actual violence. This is a struggle that many people who transition deal with and I felt the subject very fitting for a broad glimpse at some of the reasons that Pride Month was created in the first place. To honor the struggles that the "Alphabet Community" lives through and to cherish their lives as important and valid. Being a member of this community and an ally to those who live their lives in ways that contrast to the societal norms the world expects them to live inside, I felt this was an important topic to bring light to. The movie is available to rent on numerous services, but I haven't seen it free streaming on anything. I was actually able to borrow the movie from my local library, so that is a helpful resource we shouldn't forget about. Time to watch the movie and see what I think about it.

So, that was far more intense than I could have imagined. I had no idea what was coming at the end of this movie. I didn't know Brandon's story. So, if you haven't seen this and don't want to know about it yet, seriously, don't read any further. I am not going to hold back details of this movie to not spoil it. There should also be a trigger warning because rape is involved in this film and I will discuss it. You have been warned. This is a seriously intense movie and deserves to be respected for telling the story of a young man, at the beginning of his adult life, who lived in a time and a town where his life was seen as an abomination of nature, but he lived it anyway. He wanted to find love and start his life as his true self. This is definitely a topic that would have been highly controversial in 1999 when it was released, and it has received some backlash in later years. I thought it was because Hillary was a female and people thought they needed to hire a male, but I have since learned that it was because she was a cisgender female (meaning she identified as her birth sex) and people felt that a person of the LGBTQ+ community should have had the role. With todays standards and options of actors, the role would definitely have gone to someone in the LGBTQ+ community, but that wasn't as easy of a casting back then. I also felt that Swank did an amazing job to step into this role and truly carry the air of a young man trying to find his place in this life.

The general story of this movie follows Brandon Teena (born Teena Brandon) as he transitions his life into the gender he's always felt fit him better than what he was born into. He meets two people at a bar in his hometown, winds up befriending them and travelling 70 miles away to their house. He feels at home with these people and stays there for an extended time, despite having other things that need to be addressed back home. He meets a girl that he falls in love with, who is a bit of a beautiful disaster, and fully steps into his life as a man. It's unfortunately discovered by the group and some of them take it very badly. Amazingly enough for that time, his girlfriend didn't care one bit that his identity wasn't in perfect alignment with what he was born with. She knew who he was and none of the rest mattered. She accepted him exactly as he was and that was something that mattered immensely to Brandon. The two male friends, on the other hand, took it the hardest and went full out into domineering male roles. They decided to mete out their own form of punishment and raped Brandon in a vicious and brutal attack. The film doesn't shy away from just how brutal the attack was and that is difficult to watch for just about anyone. After the attack, Brandon is taken to the hospital and a report is filed leading the men to go to even greater lengths to try to avoid the consequences of their actions ending in the deaths of two people. This starts off as a movie broaching a difficult subject in a very real and approachable way, but then it sucker punches you at the end and you're left feeling hollow and broken. What's worse is your brain keeps reminding you that this really happened to someone. Sadly, it happens to many people, especially in the trans community, far too often.

The beginning of this movie shows Brandon getting his first short haircut and truly stepping into his new life, much to the dismay of his cousin. He has no issues calling Brandon by his deadname and reminding him of what sex he was born into. In the 90s, things were far more dangerous for trans people because there were no normalized ideas of trans people, so an uneducated person who'd never had much diversity surround them would automatically assume the worst of someone's mental health and fear their "sickness" would contaminate those around them. Now-a-days the trans community is more normalized and commonplace and the allies of the LGBTQ+ community are stronger, more vocal and supportive. That doesn't mean the danger is gone, but they at least have more opportunities to lead normal lives. His cousin is trying to show concern for Brandon's welfare, but in some of the worst ways possible by calling him a girl and referring to him as Teena. This isn't easy for friends and family members to adjust to, but it is highly important to accept their new identity and always refer to them as who they are in the present, not who they were forced to be in the past. Even if you're referring to them when they were a child, still refer to them as their present self. His cousin doesn't do that and it leaves him feeling uncomfortable. He goes out on a date with his fresh haircut and the night ends well for him. Unfortunately, not every night goes like that and he gets chased home by some angry relatives of a girl he took on a date, which causes his cousin to kick him out. He goes to another bar where he meets another girl and gets into a fight to try to protect her. The fight gets crazy and they wind up running from the cops. This is where Brandon's life changes. These people become his friends and as close to family as they can get. He moves to the small town where they live and he meets Lana, the girl of his dreams. He falls hard for her and she finds herself being drawn to him. You see him really start to blossom as a person during this time and his life is so enriched by having these people in his life. I can't help but think of a quote from Rocketman when Elton John is told, "You gotta kill the person you were born to be in order to become the person you want to be." It seems like this perfectly encompasses what every trans person has had to do and sometimes that can't be done at home because too many people are trying to hold onto the person they think you should be. Sometimes you have to start a new life somewhere else to fully step into your new self and, when you're ready, you can visit your friends and family so they can meet the new you. This is what Brandon does and it is exactly what he needs.

Unfortunately for Brandon, he's done a few things that have drawn the attention of the authorities and he needs to show up to court for them, requiring him to go home. At the courthouse, though, he can't seem to bring himself to go up to the judge and answer to the name of Teena. Instead, he runs and a bench warrant is issued. This is where it all starts to fall apart for him. With one speeding ticket, he gets arrested and the information gets put in the paper for all to see. Lana goes to the jail and finds him in the women's cells, though she is unperturbed by the revelation. They spend the day together, which leaves the rest of the group wondering where Lana was. They get back to the house very late and the whole gang is waiting. Tensions are incredibly high in the house and things escalate to epic proportions. John and his buddy decide they need to prove that Brandon isn't what he claims to be and they forcefully remove his pants in a torturous scene. I was cringing the entire time wishing they would leave him alone, but knowing they wouldn't. It's like there was something that switched in their psyches when they thought they'd been lied to and they just couldn't compute the information and they lashed out the only way they knew how. With violence. At this point in the movie, I had totally forgotten that Brandon was being portrayed by Hillary Swank, so when they revealed what was under his pants, it looked wrong. Like something was missing, which is kind of the reason behind any transgender person making the transition. They're born with the wrong parts to fit their mind, heart and spirit. The guys try to force Lana to look at this genitalia, but she refuses knowing that Brandon wouldn't want her to, especially under the circumstances. It was heart wrenching. Brandon just tries to leave at that point, but the guys aren't quite done with him yet. They drive him out to the town plant, knowing it will be deserted, and brutally beat and rape him. There are times when they're beating him like he's a gay man that's insulted their masculinity, yet they rape him like he's a woman. It was brutal, horrifying and very difficult to watch. I read an article later where it said that Peter Saarsgard (who played John) even threw up during the filming of this scene. It is not for the faint at heart or those who are triggered by that level of violence, but it truly makes you see the harsh reality that too many people have lived through. It forces you to recognize that this happens to people and the savageness of it. And to think that Brandon had to live through that is even more horrifying.

Afterwards, they pick him up and start calling him buddy, like nothing happened and take him back to their house to hang out. They basically are keeping him close to make sure he can't make a report to the authorities. He runs out the window back to Candice's house for help. At first, when he shows up, she wants him to leave. She can barely look at him. But when she finally does, she sees the bruises on his face and insists on getting him help. A report is filed for the assault, but the cops start asking inconsiderate questions and it feels so uncomfortable. They don't even make an immediate arrest, instead telling the guys to come into the station the next day. This decision really pissed me off. You get someone who is raped by two people they know and you don't actually make an arrest for it?! What the hell was that police station doing? Obviously not their jobs. If they had done their jobs and arrested the men for the accusations against them, then maybe the following events wouldn't have happened and Brandon and Candace would still be alive. All the "ifs" in the world won't change what happened next, though. Brandon convinces Lana to leave with him and they go to get her stuff. John shows up at Lana's house and asks Lana's mother where they are and pulls a gun on her. She tells him they're at Candace's house and he goes over there. Both Brandon and Candace are terrorized and shot leaving Lana crying over Brandon's body. The two are eventually arrested for murder and are sent to jail. During the movie, it is explained that John has no impulse control, so that might explain his rash behavior, but it doesn't excuse it. You may not like what another person is doing in their own life, but it never gives you the right to try to change it or to act out against them. You get to live your life the way you want to as long as it doesn't harm someone else's life and they get to do the same. If you think that their lifestyle will impact yours, then just don't be around them. Problem solved. Violence against another is completely unacceptable. Shortening another's life as you see fit is reprehensible. At the end of the movie, it lets you know that John has tried to appeal the court's decision, but no verdict had been made at the time. I have looked it up and he's appealed it three times and each keeps getting denied. His buddy even tried to take back his earlier testimony saying that his initial statement that said that John shot Brandon was incorrect and it was actually him, that he shot both of them. Luckily enough, the court decided that it didn't matter who shot the gun, each were responsible for the events that took place, so no verdicts were changed.

This has been one of the most difficult posts for me to write because it was such heavy material that threw me off in it's brutality. I've had to take many breaks from writing this because I've needed time to process everything and it's still something that swirls in my brain, even days later. It's a very important film to show both the reality of a trans person's life (they're just normal people looking for the same opportunities in life and love as anyone else) and the harsher side of those who don't understand or accept their identities. I don't know if I could ever watch this movie again because of how deeply it affected me, but it will always stick with me. It's a stark reminder that the trans community needs our support. There are too many ways to hurt someone and it's not always in a physical manner. Be there for each other. Care for others and try not to judge them for their choices. Sometimes things run deeper than just a simple conscious decision. Sometimes it's just the way they were made and they really don't have any control over it.

Next week I have chosen a lighter subject to help soften the intensity of this week's movie. In & Out with Kevin Klein will be my next movie that I've never seen, sticking with the Pride theme. It's available through HBOMax if you wanted to watch it with me.

For more movie love, check out my other blog, "You're Watching That Again?!"